If Only

Conspiracy Theory
A Republican aide ridiculed Pelosi's claim that there was a "conspiracy" to oppose the project. "If the speaker needs help finding the heart of the 'GOP GZM Conspiracy,' I urge her to ask Sasquatch," the aide told Fox News. "His office is behind the black helicopter hangar between the unicorn pen and the leprechaun's pot of gold." (FoxNews.com, 8/18/10)

We’ve got to find out who this aide is and promote him. He’s a helluva lot funnier than Al Franken ever was.

Obsessed With Sarah
It's been a summer of setbacks for Sarah Palin. Candidate "cubs" endorsed by the Mama Grizzly in Chief have been suffering a recent string of primary election losses. (Associated Press, 8/19/10)

Of course, Palin’s record is still better than that of Obama and unlike Obama, candidates don’t flee when she shows up.

By George
Iran is a third waiting game. The administration has admirably tried to remember that it's operating in a carpet bazaar here -- and patiently offer a mix of negotiations with economic sanctions. (I like diplomatic ambiguity, so I think this sometimes confusing stop-go approach is about right.) (David Ignatius, Washington Post, 8/19/10)

David Ignoramus apparently is happy with Obama’s Iran strategy. Of course, Obama’s approach is insulting to the word “strategy.” As usual, we have to turn to George Will.

Any Israeli self-defense anywhere is automatically judged "disproportionate." Israel knows this as it watches Iran. (George Will, Washington Post, 8/19/10)

The creation of Israel did not involve the destruction of a Palestinian state, there having been no such state since the Romans arrived. And if the Jewish percentage of the world's population were today what it was when the Romans ruled Palestine, there would be 200 million Jews. After a uniquely hazardous passage through two millennia without a homeland, there are 13 million Jews.

In the 62 years since this homeland was founded on one-sixth of 1 percent of the land of what is carelessly and inaccurately called "the Arab world," Israelis have never known an hour of real peace. Patronizing American lectures on the reality of risks and the desirableness of peace, which once were merely fatuous, are now obscene. (George Will, Washington Post, 8/19/10)

Once again the conservative columnist does his homework and presents a fact-based analysis while the liberal writes about “feelings.”