Sources Say Clinton to Pick Rev. Al Sharpton as 2016 Running Mate

A RedStateVT Exclusive
A well-place Democrat strategist speaking under deep cover and wearing one of those Groucho Marx eyeglasses with the fake eyebrows and mustache has revealed that inevitable Democrat presidential nominee Hillary Clinton is set to name Rev. Al Sharpton as her 2016 running mate. The strategist - we'll call him Elmo - explained the move: 

First, it was crucial to lock up Sharpton before other potential candidates such as Colonel Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Lying Bear Warren went after the (formerly rotund) Rev. "Clinton simply could not risk the optics of a Warren - Sharpton pairing," said Elmo. "A Native American woman paired with an African American man (and a preacher to boot!) would be tough to beat." In addition, Elmo said, the Clinton move made sense because with Obama and AG Eric Holder no longer in the picture in 2016, Democrats would need someone to gin up racial animosity, a key plank of the party. "Is there a single person in the country who has done more to fan the flames of racial unrest?" 

Elmo would not say if Sharpton would revive his 1970s track suit style. "It would make a lot of sense", Elmo said, "the look reminds many disaffected voters of the racial grievances of the past."


Struggling with Confusion
Sometime after midnight on June 30, 2009, Pfc. Bowe Bergdahl left behind a note in his tent saying he had become disillusioned with the Army, did not support the American mission in Afghanistan and was leaving to start a new life. He slipped off the remote military outpost in Paktika Province on the border with Pakistan and took with him a soft backpack, water, knives, a notebook and writing materials, but left behind his body armor and weapons — startling, given the hostile environment around his outpost. (New York Times, 6/3/2014)

Oh yeah, this is going just swimmingly for Obama. Does he ever touch anything that doesn't end up in a tangled mess?


Back to the Action
The president said the five Taliban figures sent to Qatar in return for Sergeant Bergdahl would be monitored. (New York Times, 6/3/2014)

Huge sigh of relief here. At first we were unsure of whether or not the released terrorists were going to be "monitored."


No Time
It took little time for Alison Lundergan Grimes, the Democrat who is challenging Senator Mitch McConnell of Kentucky, the Republican minority leader, in the most high-profile Senate race this year, to distance herself from the Obama administration’s proposal for sharp cuts to emissions from power plants. (New York Times, 6/3/2014)

California Governor Jerry Brown is a gun owner, Senate majority leader Harry Reid is pro-life, and Kentucky's Grimes is pro-coal. 

Democrats all. 

When IS the Times going to write that article about disarray in the Democrat party?